Hungry

Self-discipline has never been one of my strengths.  Too often, insignificant pastimes overshadow what should be vital.  "Vital" -- as in "check the patient's vital signs" -- those indications of life, the signs that without which we are considered dead.  "Vital" -- as in "water and food are vital to survival."  These things we cannot do without.

Yet there is another hunger.  Well, many actually: a hunger for companionship, acceptance, love, success, fame. 

It is my hunger for God that I want to address.

My hunger for God falls under the category of self-discipline, not because there is a daily or weekly or lifetime list that must be completed in order for me to know God, but because it is a relationship.  And like any relationship, it must be cultivated. 

For instance, this summer I was looking forward to seeing a cousin that I have literally not seen in over 25 years.  We have reconnected via Facebook, and that is wonderful.  Unfortunately, she cannot come.  However, while still in the anticipatory phase, I wondered what we would talk about.  When you have not had a relationship for decades, when that person has no idea about all the liitle nuances and important affairs of your life, where do you begin?  Especially when you do not have an infinite number of days to learn about each other.  I think, in most cases, we would share the basic, surface happenings.  Although related by blood, we are still strangers.  One does not tell strangers one's deepest thoughts and feelings.  Unless one is a guest on an afternoon talk show!

When I spend too much time reading my books, watching TV, even enjoying friends, instead of spending time in prayer and reading His Word, my relationship with God becomes like that distance and time divided relationship with my cousin.  I want to sit down and talk to Him, but what do I say?  I have not shared my thoughts and feelings with God for days, weeks, and I feel stuck on the surface.

Praise God, that He knows even what I don't say!  Unlike that cousin who knows nothing about me, God knows everything that has gone before, and everything that will come after, and He is simply waiting.

Now, perhaps you are wondering why I titled this "Hungry."  I notice I am hungry only when I attempt that first bite.  I have been starving, and I didn't even know it.  Now that I have tasted that the Lord is good, I want more!  I am hungry for Him!